Coming Home….

Oh……to be back in New York!! My parents were born and raised in New York and moved to California 45 years ago when my mother was pregnant with me. All 3 of my sisters were born in NY and I say that I too AM from NY since I was conceived there! ;) I have always had a special place in my heart for NY (come on….some of my very favorite foods are pretzels, cheesecake and pizza. That doesn't happen by accident. lol) since most of my family is still there and it is where my roots are. Of course, a good amount of them have migrated to Florida, as many New Yorkers do however, my grandmother had 8 brothers and they all had kids who had kids who had kids…..you get the picture.

My family would often visit New York but made the last trip back in 1980, just a couple years before my paternal grandmother passed away. I have not seen many/most of my relatives since that trip back to NY (except for a few) and have not met any of the kids of the cousins I did know.

My sisters Karen and Kim and my at a food cart in NYC in 1980.

Me with Donna and Gerry. PRICELESS!!!

 One set of my cousins came out to California, what seemed like every summer for years. Their mother worked for an airline so the entire family (the mom, dad, two brothers and two sisters) would fly to CA and after about a week or so, the parents and boys would go back to NY and the girls (Donna and Gerry) would stay the rest of the summer. I essentially grew up with them like extra sisters. We were so close but their last trip to CA was in 1982, for my sister's wedding. The boys were graduating high school again and their family dynamics had changed making family vacations obsolete. The girls did come out together one more time in 1988 for another of my sister's weddings but that would be the last I would see my cousins until 1993 when my mother suddenly passed away. My cousin Donna came out to CA, almost as the representative of her family, to be there for all of us and let me tell you….her presence was insurmountable. Words cannot describe what it meant to have her there during such a tragic time in our lives. Sadly enough, the distance and life being what it is/was (hustle-bustle, busy-busy) with us now raising our own families I last saw Donna in 1993 and Gerry in 1988 and we just about never talked. Thank goodness for Facebook though, that gave us the ability to see pictures of each other and our families.

I arrived in New York a week ago to my cousin Donna's house and let me tell you….it really was like coming home!!! Her and her 10 year-old daughter came out to greet me. Hugging Donna was…let me just say…..after losing my mom 21 years ago my family pretty much fell apart. I seldom talk to my sisters or my dad and see them even less (not even for holidays) so to feel the loving arms of my cousin who I love so much and haven't seen in SO long around me…..really was priceless! And to be in her home during the holidays has been such a blessing! Her home is warm and inviting and her family (husband, 2 boys and daughter) are all so loving and welcoming. And especially being here during the holidays has been such a great lesson for me to learn to receive. That seems to be my biggest learning lesson on this leg of my journey. I was uncomfortable to stay at my cousin’s during the holidays and on Christmas. They are so traditional and love, I mean LOVE Christmas, so I felt like an intruder. I didn’t want to “mess up” any of their traditions and norms. I was thinking about looking to go to an Ashram over the holidays (to a 10-day silent retreat) but both Donna and her husband Tom insisted I stay, that I am family after all and not an intrusion. Let me say, it has been both wonderful and difficult to not feel like a third-wheel, or would it be a sixth-wheel since they are a family of 5? ;) 

Last weekend Donna, Tom and Hannah were going into the city for their annual Christmas trip with friends who moved to Virginia years ago. They were planning to stay overnight one night and go to Macys to see Santa and visit all the iconic NY Christmas spots. They invited me to join them and boy was that a hard trip to accept both because of the frugal way in which I am having to travel and because it felt like such a tradition that I would again be “messing up”. I have been super sensitive to trying to make sure I give them space, as a family, and to not overstep. I was SO excited to go into the city. My cousin and her family live on Long Island so I came straight to their house and had not gone into the city yet and the last time I was there was 34 years ago. Holy Moly!!! It was such a great trip and great to be with family and to just follow along with all of their traditions. We met up with their friends (Charlie & Diana and their son and his GF, and her parents and brother, and their daughter and her BF) after we went to Macy’s so Hannah could see Santa. We had a great time walking around and seeing the sites and eating our way, ok….my way, through the city. I got to go on the Subway and have a pretzel. I was in heaven!

Random pictures around NYC

Time Square pictures….notice the NYE ball!! ;)

Rockefeller Center! 

Central Park!

My time in NY has been amazing! I have seen my four cousins so far, their mother and have met 5 of the 9 kids so far. Christmas day will be even more amazing with 26 people being here for dinner, which will include all of the cousins and all of their kids. Stay tuned for updates and pictures along the way!!

Pictures with and of family!!

The Truth About What I Am Doing...

I have been asked many questions, and have had much conversation, about the Soul’s Journey I am on so I thought I would dispel any myths, and answer some of the questions I have heard and explain as best as I can what this Soul’s Journey is all about.

Myths, facts and questions answered:

Q: How did this journey come about?

        I believe all things happen for a reason and with that in mind, many events took place and transpired (really over the course of years and this lifetime) to line things up for me to travel at this time. First and foremost I am not on a vacation and I am not traveling just for fun. I was guided to take this trip, this mission of the heart to not only heal my life/soul and learn myself better (one can only know others when they truly know themselves) but to share my experiences with the world, first with this blog then with a book, to support others in matters of the heart and soul!

Let’s see if I can sum this up in a nutshell (the full story will be in my book). I made a decision to move from the San Francisco Bay Area to Midtown, Sacramento. Once I made the decision to do so (moving by myself and living by myself for the first time ever) all events lined up for me to do so, very quickly. I made a verbal agreement with a landlord to rent the 2^nd floor of a Victorian house. The space was going to be my work and living space combined. The space was ideal for workshops, classes and for coaching my clients on a one on one basis. I had about 6 months left on disability so it seemed like the perfect time for me to build my Soul Coaching business in Sacramento (while saving a good amount of money since the place I would be renting was half the price I was paying for in the Bay) however, just two weeks after moving in, my landlord said that she decided not to rent to me and gave me a 30-day notice to vacate. I was devastated, for a few hours, then started seeing the opportunity in front of me. Conversations all around me, for the few weeks prior to my moving, had been pointing me in the direction of traveling, like I had always dreamed of doing, but I didn’t feel I could back out of the lease I was about to sign. Well now, I didn’t have to worry about that, did I? Without having to pay rent I could now use the money I allotted for rent for my travel expenses. So, I made an intention to travel and things lined up for me to do so however, the things that lined up were rarely, if ever, wrapped up in a pretty box with a bow. I sold all of my furniture and gave all my belongings (I only kept things that could not be replaced) to friends, family and not-for profit organizations. I stored all of my belongings in a 5x10 storage space and set out on the road on July 16^th (in a rental car, which is another really long story that will be in my book) to see as much of the United States, and people I haven’t seen in years.

Q: How long will you be on this trip?

        I have mostly been divinely guided on this trip and have not made a whole lot of concrete plans. This has allowed me to meet some great people, to stay with later along my journey, and stay places I had not planned on and for my energy and life to flow in such a way to allow amazing spiritual growth. At this point it is my aim and goal to make this a one-year journey of the soul and to write my book about a year on the road! 

Q: Are you going through a mid-life crisis?

        I love this question and the first time it was asked to me was by a 21 year-old young man in Memphis, TN. I can see why someone might ask this but it is far from what is going on with me. Instead of any sort of crisis (and I refuse to believe this is mid-life for me, I often feel so young) this is a true journey of complete desire and honoring of my soul. I always dreamed of and imagined traveling through Europe but am discovering so many wonderful things about this great country of ours while discovering many more wonderful things about myself. I am completely living a life of desire and flow!

Q: When will you go home?

        I no longer consider California my home. It is where I was born and raised and lived almost all of my adult life but I do not have plans on going back there to live. I am not sure what is in store for me and/or where I will end up. All I know is I will call a new place home once I fall in love with a new area. I want to explore and live a life full of adventure and wonder…as much as possible!

Q: Why are you traveling across the USA and what are you trying to find/do?

        I have lived a life mostly based on what I was supposed to do or what was expected of me. I do not regret anything. All of my life experiences have made me who I am today and I am right where I am meant to be. I no longer want to learn about people and places through a book or a documentary. It is my desire to meet people from all walks of life and get to know them and what experiences they have had to make them who they are today. It is my desire to live a life without fear and to experience as much joy and love as possible. On this journey, if something scares me and gives me a pit in my stomach then I set out to do it. In doing so, thus far, I have climbed a 600-foot rock in Arizona; hiked 6 miles down a river in Utah; rode on the back of a Harley around the Grand Canyon; have camped alone in New Mexico (at a Spiritual Retreat), Colorado, and Florida; stayed at a clothing optional home in Tennessee (yes this will be in my book too!); stayed with Rednecks in the outskirts in Alabama; backpacked along the Appalachian Trail in Georgia; stayed with countless people I have never met and have met dozens of fabulous people. It is my desire to keep collecting these amazing experiences in order to add to my book all of the wonders of living a life despite any fears. One of my favorite sayings is that we only grow outside of our comfort zone and I have found this to be true!

Q: How are you financially affording this trip?

        VERY carefully, very frugally and not very easily! I hate to say that (the not very easily part) because that is not positive and does not allow the flow of abundance into my life but it has taken a lot of effort on my part to ensure I don’t spend much money. When I set out on the road I had a little disability I collected and once I was done collecting that I began doing Virtual Assisting work (I was an Executive Assistant for years in Corporate America). All along I used a website called CouchSurfing for my lodging. It is an awesome site full of travelers who love and respect travelers and allow them to stay at their place, for free, while traveling. It has been an awesome resource for me while on the road. I very rarely paid for lodging in the 4 months I have been on the road due to that site, family I have stayed with, and friends….new and old. As I write this I am staying with a family I met while camping in the Smoky Mountains and will spend Thanksgiving with them.

   I am starting my own Virtual Assisting company (I no longer have the client I was doing work for since it was a temporary assignment) so I am able to make money from anywhere and can travel as much and as long as I desire! I am also researching other methods of making money while on the road and have started a GoFundMe account to ask family and friends to make a donation to support me in this mission and help me complete and publish this book! 

Please consider making a donation (ANY amount is appreciated) at: http://www.gofundme.com/glxq8o and please spread the word!

Being Real! How my Soul's Journey got started….

The below "Being Real" post is something I posted on Facebook on June 17, 2014, just one month before I set out on the road on my Soul's Journey. I am currently in Sebastian, Florida (visiting a cousin I have not seen in 27 years) and am reflecting on the past 3 1/2 months and where I am lead to go from here. In part of the writing and reflecting I was reviewing my path to get on the road and this post really jumped out at me. It really explains a lot of what propelled me to get on the road and explore the wonders of travel. I just had no idea just how wonderful it would be. Truly amazing what happens when you make a decision, take action, and have faith. Enjoy the truly authentic side of me! ;)

Being Real....putting it all out there in a vulnerable and authentic way!

The past year and a half of my life has been really tough. I went out on stress leave from my corporate job in Feb 2013. Was having bouts of anxiety due to the job and was overworked and stressed beyond belief. Things turned out in such a way that I never returned to that job and I hope to NEVER have to work in such an environment again.

I have been doing everything I can to stay positive, while growing and working on ME, and to build my own business (LoveAKA), which has been my passion for years.

Fast forward to the past month and a half. The saying is God doesn't give us more than we can handle. Well, he obviously thinks (knows) I can handle a whole lot!!! I moved to Sacramento in early May to minimize my rent/expenses. Found the place I thought was the perfect location (with a "landlord" that seemed so sweet and like a lady who would quite possibly be like a "replacement mom" for me) in an area I LOVE. I moved all by myself as an empty nester, living by myself for the first time EVER! My new home was also going to be my place of business. It had the perfect layout for workshops, classes and one on one coaching, everything I have been building for. Well, I made the "mistake" of trusting this woman who I come to find out has multiple mental disorders. We didn't sign the lease right away (it was all verbal agreements) and she decided 2 weeks after I moved in that I wasn't the best fit for her rental so she gave me a 30 day notice to move out. I have had to ask myself, several times, what my lessons are here. I KNOW it is a sign that more and better is to come but the process has NOT been easy, to say the least.

So.....I have decided to put my belongings in storage and drive across the country for a few months to visit people I care about that I have been too busy or didn't have enough money to fly to see (including my son who is in the Air Force and stationed in NM that I only get to see once a year). I just need and WANT to get a way for a bit and see our beautiful country (and maybe even go out of the country) and reconnect with people I care about. I have always wanted to travel but it never seemed like the right time and it never seemed possible (due to my responsibilities as a single mother and lack of funds). Life is too short and I don't want to make any more excuses not to do this. My kids are all in a position that they don't "need" me on a daily basis (and thank goodness they have a great dad).

I will be blogging along the way (my new site to be up...hopefully today at www.LoveAKA.com), sharing my experiences on the trip as well as all of the life lessons learned during the trip and before, leading up to me taking the trip. I believe this trip will make me an ever more powerful coach/teacher as well as a more grounded person. I am going to set out to see as many National Monuments as I can on my trip as well as visiting as many people I care about along the way.

I would love any/all suggestions as to places to see, cheap places to stay as well as traveling on a shoestring tips and tricks. Thanks for reading.....my love and peace to all!!! Stay tuned!!!

Backpacking the Appalachian Trail

First backcountry backpacking/camping trip. Hiked 7 miles in yesterday & camped overnight. Got pretty cold but having a great experience. Hiked today to the top of Blood Mountain. Met a great 15 year old boy who is wise beyond his years.much more to come about this trip once I get back to civilization. Stay tuned! 

No Stone Unturned!

   When I set out on this, what I am calling, 

Soul’s Journey (on 7-16-14) I had a few, pretty clear, intentions and desires but aside from those, I just wanted to learn and grow on the road. I intended to get passed any fears I may have and experience the magnificence of life despite and in the face of them (from the fear of heights to the fear of being alone) while following my desires of freedom, connection and exploration all while learning non-attachment. Being open to all things while attached to nothing! I intended to learn from my fears instead of hiding from them and I intended to follow my bliss and live a life based on desire and not fear. I just had no idea, when I set out on my journey, what that really looked like  

I had a handful of destinations within the USA in which I wanted to visit (places I had always wanted to see or people I had not been able to spend enough time with due to the lack of time or money to travel). Other than those predetermined locations, along my path, I have allowed my destinations to be determined by what I refer to as Divine Guidance. I believe we all come into this life with lessons needed to be learned and on this journey I have had many experiences and ran into and met several people who put me smack dab in the middle of a lesson meant for me to learn…not only at just the precise time I was meant to learn them but at the time I was capable and ready to do so. I thought I might be heading in a certain direction to only be guided in the opposite direction.

   I haven’t been writing much lately and beating myself up for not doing so. I had wanted to blog at least once a week and work on my book on a daily basis. I have been on this journey and collecting experiences along the way and learning WAY more with each destination and experience than I have been giving myself time to process and write about. Looking back on the past three months of this journey, there is not one place I stayed or visited that I did not have an extraordinary connection and/or lesson. That is pretty amazing, yes, but what about the time needed to really process the information and learn from the lessons? This brings me to today!

   I met a new friend while camping in the Smoky Mountains (that will be a blog and at least one whole chapter of my book all by itself) a little over three weeks ago. He lives in a suburb just outside of Atlanta, Georgia, which happened to be a city I hoped to visit on this journey since I had never been. He and I had a real soul connection and did lots of talking at night next to the campfire after everyone else went to sleep. (Side note and reality check: Did I really just say/type that? I, Lori LaMantia….little ol’ me was CAMPING in the Smoky Mountains in Tennessee, a world away from the suburb I was living in in California, and connected with a great soul!!! WOW!!! THAT is so amazing to me!!!) It felt so good to really connect with someone especially after being on the road, mostly alone, for 2 months. The last night of the camping trip the friend who was camping with me (that I met in Alabama and brought with me on this leg of my journey) and I shared his tent (mini-conference center, as he called it) with him and his daughters. That is how connected and comfortable we felt with one another.  It felt bittersweet once we packed up to leave on the fourth day. To say “good-bye” to new friends along my journey has been one of the most difficult parts. He and I exchanged contact information and stayed in pretty close contact and very soon after leaving the Smoky Mountains he invited me to stay in his home, in Atlanta, which is where I am today and have been for the past 6 days.

Soon after I arrived in Atlanta he expressed concern that he was worried that being here may not be exciting enough for me, that I have been on the road and on the go for so long that he feared I may get bored here. I explained to him that slowing down was just what I desired and needed. I got to his house with a slight fever, my body feeling achy, and my throat a bit sore. Besides the fact I thought it best I get myself a motel room until I was better as to not infect him or his girls (although he insisted that was not necessary), I believed it was a timely sign from my body that I do indeed slow down and rest. Since being here we have mostly done just that. We did go to a concert one night (to see a cover band playing the greatest hits from my very favorite band…another sign of timeliness on my journey that they were playing MY favorite band while I was here) but other than that we have slept in, cooked great and healthy meals together, watched sports (my SF 49ers and the SF Giants) went to church together and to yoga (all things I really needed and desired), and have been talking A LOT about all things having to do with life! I had been feeling a bit ansy the last couple of days since I had not gone out to see Atlanta and the surrounding areas. When we first talked about me coming here we had a two-day back country hiking/camping trip in mind and other outdoor places he wanted to take me to see but it has been raining on and off since I have been here making those plans not realistic, at this time.

   We were going to get up and out this morning but it was raining hard, harder than it has been, so we settled into a comfortable routine of sipping on coffee on the couch, with the door wide open to listen to the rain, with great conversation. Not just any surface conversation but we got into some really deep conversation about life and our paths which lead to discussion about the Big Book, the 12-Step book of recovery (he is a recovering alcoholic). I am familiar with the 12-steps after having attended Co-Dependents Anonymous many years ago and studying addiction in grad school but today while he was talking to me about the steps a light bulb went off for me that perhaps my working through the 12 steps myself, now…while on this journey would be helpful if not necessary. I shared that thought with him and he asked me, “but what are you powerless over?” I contemplated for a minute then said that it is my desire to not allow anything to have power over me from my mind to my emotions to sex or food and that it just felt timely that I am here discussing this with him as it pertains to the 12-steps and his addiction and my desire for non-attachment.

I truly believe there is a reason for everything and I know there is a reason I am here, in Atlanta, with him and he is here with me. We have had discussions what we thought those reasons might be. We wondered, and talked about if we believed or thought the reason could be stemming from a romantic nature. I am so glad and grateful that we talked to each other, at length, about that possibility and the possible consequences of becoming intimate with one another instead of us frivolously acting upon our mutual attraction to one another because I believe a big part of the reason we are here with one another and almost ‘forced” to be inside talking more than anything else is to help each other be completely aware with the place we are each at in our own path of self-discovery and growth and to give some perspective from a trusted soul connection of the opposite sex on some issues and topics that only the opposite sex can give. He has very strong attachments and beliefs to many things I have learned non-attachment with so I have been able to help him become more aware of his beliefs and positions on some topics and in turn not only has he given me a place to call home while I make some discoveries and do my writing but I am realizing that with my desire to completely learn non-attachment and feel free to live a life of true freedom it may be a great idea for me to work the 12-steps. One of the things I have been saying is that I feel it is important for me to truly know myself, deeply and intimately, in order for me to ever truly hope to know and be intimate with someone else (when I use the word intimate I am not referring to (just) sex. Intimacy comes with all relationships and in many levels).  I also think it is important for me (all people really) to make amends with anyone I have hurt or have any unspoken resentments with and I had a desire to do this before I went out on the road but it did not happen, mostly due to time constraints but I am feeling like while I am out on the road this is the perfect time for me to take an inventory of SO many things so I can do this….it is never too late and always right on time. So, on this journey I vow to not leave any stone unturned. As difficult or as painful as it may be I am going to continue to look inward and truly learn what makes Lori tick, what fills my soul, what hurts me and why I do all the millions of things that I do. I do not desire to be around people when I am lonely but look inside as to why I feel lonely and deal with it; when I feel scared I do not desire to only get to a place where I feel safe (emotionally) but to truly understand what I am afraid of and to deal with it. I believe being on the road allows me to do just this and a whole lot more. Every day I am driven to the people and places for me to learn my lessons (many times even before I knew myself that I had that lesson to learn) and on the road I don’t have any of my comforts or securities to use as a crutch or to use to hide. Instead, I am forced every day and every moment to trust myself and be with myself in order to truly learn myself and completely and utterly fall in love with ME!!! NO STONE UNTURNED!