Coming Home….

Oh……to be back in New York!! My parents were born and raised in New York and moved to California 45 years ago when my mother was pregnant with me. All 3 of my sisters were born in NY and I say that I too AM from NY since I was conceived there! ;) I have always had a special place in my heart for NY (come on….some of my very favorite foods are pretzels, cheesecake and pizza. That doesn't happen by accident. lol) since most of my family is still there and it is where my roots are. Of course, a good amount of them have migrated to Florida, as many New Yorkers do however, my grandmother had 8 brothers and they all had kids who had kids who had kids…..you get the picture.

My family would often visit New York but made the last trip back in 1980, just a couple years before my paternal grandmother passed away. I have not seen many/most of my relatives since that trip back to NY (except for a few) and have not met any of the kids of the cousins I did know.

My sisters Karen and Kim and my at a food cart in NYC in 1980.

Me with Donna and Gerry. PRICELESS!!!

 One set of my cousins came out to California, what seemed like every summer for years. Their mother worked for an airline so the entire family (the mom, dad, two brothers and two sisters) would fly to CA and after about a week or so, the parents and boys would go back to NY and the girls (Donna and Gerry) would stay the rest of the summer. I essentially grew up with them like extra sisters. We were so close but their last trip to CA was in 1982, for my sister's wedding. The boys were graduating high school again and their family dynamics had changed making family vacations obsolete. The girls did come out together one more time in 1988 for another of my sister's weddings but that would be the last I would see my cousins until 1993 when my mother suddenly passed away. My cousin Donna came out to CA, almost as the representative of her family, to be there for all of us and let me tell you….her presence was insurmountable. Words cannot describe what it meant to have her there during such a tragic time in our lives. Sadly enough, the distance and life being what it is/was (hustle-bustle, busy-busy) with us now raising our own families I last saw Donna in 1993 and Gerry in 1988 and we just about never talked. Thank goodness for Facebook though, that gave us the ability to see pictures of each other and our families.

I arrived in New York a week ago to my cousin Donna's house and let me tell you….it really was like coming home!!! Her and her 10 year-old daughter came out to greet me. Hugging Donna was…let me just say…..after losing my mom 21 years ago my family pretty much fell apart. I seldom talk to my sisters or my dad and see them even less (not even for holidays) so to feel the loving arms of my cousin who I love so much and haven't seen in SO long around me…..really was priceless! And to be in her home during the holidays has been such a blessing! Her home is warm and inviting and her family (husband, 2 boys and daughter) are all so loving and welcoming. And especially being here during the holidays has been such a great lesson for me to learn to receive. That seems to be my biggest learning lesson on this leg of my journey. I was uncomfortable to stay at my cousin’s during the holidays and on Christmas. They are so traditional and love, I mean LOVE Christmas, so I felt like an intruder. I didn’t want to “mess up” any of their traditions and norms. I was thinking about looking to go to an Ashram over the holidays (to a 10-day silent retreat) but both Donna and her husband Tom insisted I stay, that I am family after all and not an intrusion. Let me say, it has been both wonderful and difficult to not feel like a third-wheel, or would it be a sixth-wheel since they are a family of 5? ;) 

Last weekend Donna, Tom and Hannah were going into the city for their annual Christmas trip with friends who moved to Virginia years ago. They were planning to stay overnight one night and go to Macys to see Santa and visit all the iconic NY Christmas spots. They invited me to join them and boy was that a hard trip to accept both because of the frugal way in which I am having to travel and because it felt like such a tradition that I would again be “messing up”. I have been super sensitive to trying to make sure I give them space, as a family, and to not overstep. I was SO excited to go into the city. My cousin and her family live on Long Island so I came straight to their house and had not gone into the city yet and the last time I was there was 34 years ago. Holy Moly!!! It was such a great trip and great to be with family and to just follow along with all of their traditions. We met up with their friends (Charlie & Diana and their son and his GF, and her parents and brother, and their daughter and her BF) after we went to Macy’s so Hannah could see Santa. We had a great time walking around and seeing the sites and eating our way, ok….my way, through the city. I got to go on the Subway and have a pretzel. I was in heaven!

Random pictures around NYC

Time Square pictures….notice the NYE ball!! ;)

Rockefeller Center! 

Central Park!

My time in NY has been amazing! I have seen my four cousins so far, their mother and have met 5 of the 9 kids so far. Christmas day will be even more amazing with 26 people being here for dinner, which will include all of the cousins and all of their kids. Stay tuned for updates and pictures along the way!!

Pictures with and of family!!