Backpacking the Appalachian Trail

First backcountry backpacking/camping trip. Hiked 7 miles in yesterday & camped overnight. Got pretty cold but having a great experience. Hiked today to the top of Blood Mountain. Met a great 15 year old boy who is wise beyond his years.much more to come about this trip once I get back to civilization. Stay tuned! 

No Stone Unturned!

   When I set out on this, what I am calling, 

Soul’s Journey (on 7-16-14) I had a few, pretty clear, intentions and desires but aside from those, I just wanted to learn and grow on the road. I intended to get passed any fears I may have and experience the magnificence of life despite and in the face of them (from the fear of heights to the fear of being alone) while following my desires of freedom, connection and exploration all while learning non-attachment. Being open to all things while attached to nothing! I intended to learn from my fears instead of hiding from them and I intended to follow my bliss and live a life based on desire and not fear. I just had no idea, when I set out on my journey, what that really looked like  

I had a handful of destinations within the USA in which I wanted to visit (places I had always wanted to see or people I had not been able to spend enough time with due to the lack of time or money to travel). Other than those predetermined locations, along my path, I have allowed my destinations to be determined by what I refer to as Divine Guidance. I believe we all come into this life with lessons needed to be learned and on this journey I have had many experiences and ran into and met several people who put me smack dab in the middle of a lesson meant for me to learn…not only at just the precise time I was meant to learn them but at the time I was capable and ready to do so. I thought I might be heading in a certain direction to only be guided in the opposite direction.

   I haven’t been writing much lately and beating myself up for not doing so. I had wanted to blog at least once a week and work on my book on a daily basis. I have been on this journey and collecting experiences along the way and learning WAY more with each destination and experience than I have been giving myself time to process and write about. Looking back on the past three months of this journey, there is not one place I stayed or visited that I did not have an extraordinary connection and/or lesson. That is pretty amazing, yes, but what about the time needed to really process the information and learn from the lessons? This brings me to today!

   I met a new friend while camping in the Smoky Mountains (that will be a blog and at least one whole chapter of my book all by itself) a little over three weeks ago. He lives in a suburb just outside of Atlanta, Georgia, which happened to be a city I hoped to visit on this journey since I had never been. He and I had a real soul connection and did lots of talking at night next to the campfire after everyone else went to sleep. (Side note and reality check: Did I really just say/type that? I, Lori LaMantia….little ol’ me was CAMPING in the Smoky Mountains in Tennessee, a world away from the suburb I was living in in California, and connected with a great soul!!! WOW!!! THAT is so amazing to me!!!) It felt so good to really connect with someone especially after being on the road, mostly alone, for 2 months. The last night of the camping trip the friend who was camping with me (that I met in Alabama and brought with me on this leg of my journey) and I shared his tent (mini-conference center, as he called it) with him and his daughters. That is how connected and comfortable we felt with one another.  It felt bittersweet once we packed up to leave on the fourth day. To say “good-bye” to new friends along my journey has been one of the most difficult parts. He and I exchanged contact information and stayed in pretty close contact and very soon after leaving the Smoky Mountains he invited me to stay in his home, in Atlanta, which is where I am today and have been for the past 6 days.

Soon after I arrived in Atlanta he expressed concern that he was worried that being here may not be exciting enough for me, that I have been on the road and on the go for so long that he feared I may get bored here. I explained to him that slowing down was just what I desired and needed. I got to his house with a slight fever, my body feeling achy, and my throat a bit sore. Besides the fact I thought it best I get myself a motel room until I was better as to not infect him or his girls (although he insisted that was not necessary), I believed it was a timely sign from my body that I do indeed slow down and rest. Since being here we have mostly done just that. We did go to a concert one night (to see a cover band playing the greatest hits from my very favorite band…another sign of timeliness on my journey that they were playing MY favorite band while I was here) but other than that we have slept in, cooked great and healthy meals together, watched sports (my SF 49ers and the SF Giants) went to church together and to yoga (all things I really needed and desired), and have been talking A LOT about all things having to do with life! I had been feeling a bit ansy the last couple of days since I had not gone out to see Atlanta and the surrounding areas. When we first talked about me coming here we had a two-day back country hiking/camping trip in mind and other outdoor places he wanted to take me to see but it has been raining on and off since I have been here making those plans not realistic, at this time.

   We were going to get up and out this morning but it was raining hard, harder than it has been, so we settled into a comfortable routine of sipping on coffee on the couch, with the door wide open to listen to the rain, with great conversation. Not just any surface conversation but we got into some really deep conversation about life and our paths which lead to discussion about the Big Book, the 12-Step book of recovery (he is a recovering alcoholic). I am familiar with the 12-steps after having attended Co-Dependents Anonymous many years ago and studying addiction in grad school but today while he was talking to me about the steps a light bulb went off for me that perhaps my working through the 12 steps myself, now…while on this journey would be helpful if not necessary. I shared that thought with him and he asked me, “but what are you powerless over?” I contemplated for a minute then said that it is my desire to not allow anything to have power over me from my mind to my emotions to sex or food and that it just felt timely that I am here discussing this with him as it pertains to the 12-steps and his addiction and my desire for non-attachment.

I truly believe there is a reason for everything and I know there is a reason I am here, in Atlanta, with him and he is here with me. We have had discussions what we thought those reasons might be. We wondered, and talked about if we believed or thought the reason could be stemming from a romantic nature. I am so glad and grateful that we talked to each other, at length, about that possibility and the possible consequences of becoming intimate with one another instead of us frivolously acting upon our mutual attraction to one another because I believe a big part of the reason we are here with one another and almost ‘forced” to be inside talking more than anything else is to help each other be completely aware with the place we are each at in our own path of self-discovery and growth and to give some perspective from a trusted soul connection of the opposite sex on some issues and topics that only the opposite sex can give. He has very strong attachments and beliefs to many things I have learned non-attachment with so I have been able to help him become more aware of his beliefs and positions on some topics and in turn not only has he given me a place to call home while I make some discoveries and do my writing but I am realizing that with my desire to completely learn non-attachment and feel free to live a life of true freedom it may be a great idea for me to work the 12-steps. One of the things I have been saying is that I feel it is important for me to truly know myself, deeply and intimately, in order for me to ever truly hope to know and be intimate with someone else (when I use the word intimate I am not referring to (just) sex. Intimacy comes with all relationships and in many levels).  I also think it is important for me (all people really) to make amends with anyone I have hurt or have any unspoken resentments with and I had a desire to do this before I went out on the road but it did not happen, mostly due to time constraints but I am feeling like while I am out on the road this is the perfect time for me to take an inventory of SO many things so I can do this….it is never too late and always right on time. So, on this journey I vow to not leave any stone unturned. As difficult or as painful as it may be I am going to continue to look inward and truly learn what makes Lori tick, what fills my soul, what hurts me and why I do all the millions of things that I do. I do not desire to be around people when I am lonely but look inside as to why I feel lonely and deal with it; when I feel scared I do not desire to only get to a place where I feel safe (emotionally) but to truly understand what I am afraid of and to deal with it. I believe being on the road allows me to do just this and a whole lot more. Every day I am driven to the people and places for me to learn my lessons (many times even before I knew myself that I had that lesson to learn) and on the road I don’t have any of my comforts or securities to use as a crutch or to use to hide. Instead, I am forced every day and every moment to trust myself and be with myself in order to truly learn myself and completely and utterly fall in love with ME!!! NO STONE UNTURNED! 

Smokey Mountains - Tennessee

Camping at a primitive campsite in the Smokey Mountain National Park. It's my first time camping at a primitive site and I have learned a lot. I now know that when you don't have a shower accessible you can use cotton balls & hydrogen peroxide to kill any bacteria, who knew? Met some great people already and did some great hiking. Stay tuned for lots more pictures, and stories, about my adventures in the Smokey Mountains.

Going Back is Difficult!

   As soon as I crossed into Memphis, Tennessee, many things as I knew them were different. I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area so I had pretty much always been surrounded by diversity. Don't be fooled by what that means though. When I dated a black man (guy) for the first time my junior year of high school, my parents were not happy. Fast forward to 5 years later when I told them I was going to marry a black man & was pregnant.....my mother flipped out and all but threw me out of the house. I have seen plenty of racial discrimination over the years (& honestly thought my ex-husband was just exaggerating & being dramatic many times when the topic came up of places in other states we shouldn't go and such) and I saw way more  segregation and racism than I care to admit in the US Military but.....being in the south (staying in Alabama now for 10 days) has been, let's just say, eye opening. I go to bed many nights with a very heavy heart. There appears to be so much racial anger in what seems like every city down here and it seems even more prevalent amongst the young people. It pains me to see so much segregation and what seems to be anger from both the white and black side. I had interesting conversations tonight with my friend's son who shared some of his beliefs. I was glad he opened up and shared but he is definitely not open to hearing another view or challenging his beliefs. So many people treat their beliefs, that have been taught by their families or society, as law.

   The friends I am staying with also had a friend and her niece over for the night, both of whom were born and raised in Alabama. They both sat up with me for a couple hours looking at my pictures and talking about "the way things are" in Alabama from paddling in schools, to the common views of the different races, to interracial dating, and much more. It was fun with these two getting to know them and them getting to know me. They were very interested in my travels and open to hearing about life outside of Alabama and far more open than my friend's son to possibly see things in a different light, which makes me sad because I thought the next generation could make some powerful changes but that does not seem to be the case down here. I even got some great suggestions for places to visit in Alabama to see plantations and other historical monuments and things.

 I am learning so much here. I always thought I was lucky to have grown up in such a diverse and open area but in a way it makes me feel like I grew up very sheltered. The Bay Area feels worlds away from here and this is just the beginning of my time in the south! I am not sure how deep to delve into the south and the way things are here because it pains me to see the way things still are down here.  It feels like what I only imagined life was like decades ago and it makes me feel like I am going backwards and not forwards. It would be great if I could plant even the smallest seed for even a person or two here and show them a life of more love for everyone!!!

Beautiful Alabama!

   I never thought I would use beautiful and Alabama in the same sentence. That may not sound nice but being from California, and living there most of my life, I just never imagined it would be so beautiful and would have so much to offer. I was floored when I saw the Welcome to Alabama sign. I recall myself thinking, "Beautiful? Really?" Well, it really is!!

   I am staying with my friends, Darin and Jacque who were stationed in Japan the same time as my (ex) husband (1994-1997) and Jacque was my BFF. I had not seen them since they came through California 14 years ago. 

   I suppose my opinions thus far, of Alabama may be biased by their spectacular backyard. I could quite possibly stay in their yard forever and be content. It has a wonderful covered porch right out the back door, which has a fan so it never really gets too hot, and of course the beautiful pool that Darin keeps sparkling clean and then the wonderful lake/pool. I have not determined yet for sure if it is a lake or a pond. There is a debate amongst Darin and Jacque about that technicality but I think it is magnificent none the less. Just across the lake from their house is a landing of grass and on the other side is a fabulous creek that runs for miles and miles in either direction. Darin took me canoeing across the lake which was my first time ever in a canoe, and we went exploring down the embankment and into and down the creek, walking through it the whole way. It was about 85 degrees out at the time but the trees blocked the sun a bit and made the temperature quite pleasant. We were not able to walk for as long as I would have liked because it was getting dark and we did not bring a light and would have been eaten alive by the bugs but we were lucky to get back in time to see the glow of the sun still on the water.

The dock behind the house!

Enjoy the pictures from my little adventure and first time canoeing. Hopefully you can feel a bit of the tranquility I do every time I step foot out of their back door! Priceless!

So peaceful!! 

View of Darin and Jacque's house across the lake

Just a neighbor's house that I thought looked cool!

Alabama clay!

Millbrook, Alabama ~ August 28, 2014

Karma got me....

So, I had a fabulous night camping last night...making S'mores over a campfire, having a drink, talking & laughing, with a new friend from Florida who was camping a few sites down from me. I went to bed pretty late and just loved laying in my tent listening to the river flowing and a train or 2 passing by. I was content & happy & peaceful until a noise outside my tent woke me up at about 4:30 am. I carefully rolled off my air mattress & reached for my flashlight. While doing so I heard my water jug, that was sitting on the picnic bench just outside my tent, topple to the ground. Ever so quietly, & quick like a Ninja, I unzipped the top window-like part of my tent to peak out through the mesh w/my flashlight. Well right there at my picnic table was a HUGE raccoon. 

         Of course this is not the actual    

        raccoon. The one from last night  

                     was much bigger. :)

I could see that he was trying to get into my nylon cooler. I tried shushing him away but nothing. Then I tried shining my flashlight in his face but nothing. He just kept peering at me while clawing at my cooler. I had to do something & since I was too scared to get out of my tent in case he decided to charge at me (come on, it was before daylight & I was half asleep & scared) I did the next logical thing and grabbed my mace. Yes, you read that right, I grabbed my mace. I did not know what else to do and like I said, I was scared. He could have eaten me after all!

I carefully shone my flashlight on my mace to ensure I was pointing it in the right direction and I peeped back through the mesh window and.....sprayed. The big, mean raccoon was not quite close enough for it to go straight into his eyes but the spray must have been close enough cuz he shook his head & started tiptoeing off. That was all good except like I said, I sprayed the mace through mesh so....I think more of it sprayed back on me and IN the tent than on him. My eyes stung & my throat itched & I began coughing. Still though I was able to stumble out & rescue my cooler & bring it in the tent to safety w/me. For the next couple of hours, as I tried to go back to sleep, I cocooned myself in my sleeping bag, careful to bury my head, trying to stop inhaling & being affected by the mace in my tent. 

The best part of all this....I now know that my mace works & I know how to use it! Poor raccoon! I hope he's okay. I learned my lesson. No more leaving my cooler out & no more macing innocent animals even if they are big and scare me!!